• Skyp
  • Posts
  • Why Your Email’s Too Long—And Still Not Saying Anything

Why Your Email’s Too Long—And Still Not Saying Anything

Because buyers don’t read—they skim. Make every word earn its place.

Author

Alexander Shartsis
June 09, 2025

You’re doing the work:
✅ Researching leads
✅ Personalizing intros
✅ Writing 5+ sentence emails that explain exactly what you do

And still…
No replies.

Here’s the brutal truth:
Most cold emails are long, but not clear. Wordy, but not sharp. Structured, but not sticky.

They look like someone tried really hard to sound smart—then forgot to sound human.
Let’s fix that.

🚨 The Core Problem: You’re Explaining Too Much, Too Soon

Founders tend to overcompensate in cold outreach.
Especially if they’re not “salesy.”

You think:

“If I just explain what we do really well, they’ll get it.”

But in cold email, clarity doesn’t come from more explanation. It comes from less.
The more you say, the less they absorb.

Buyers don’t need a product tour in paragraph form.
They need one idea that sticks. Something that gets them curious enough to want the next step.

🧠 The Psychology of Skimming

Here’s what happens when someone opens your cold email:

  • They glance at the first 1–2 lines

  • They skip to the end to see what you want

  • They decide in under 5 seconds whether to archive, reply, or ignore

That’s it. That’s your window.

And if your email is:

  • Too dense

  • Too jargon-y

  • Or tries to “say everything just in case”

…you’ve already lost.

✍️ What to Cut (Right Now)

Here’s what’s killing your copy—and what to replace it with:

❌ Cut This

✅ Do This Instead

“We’re the leading platform for…”

“Built something that…”

Long intros about who you are

Start with something they just did

Feature lists

Show one clear benefit or shortcut

Wordy CTAs like “Would you be open to…”

Try: “Worth a quick look?” or “Want the 1-min version?”

Multiple links, long paragraphs

Keep it under 100 words, max 3 lines per section

Cold emails aren’t essays. They’re icebreakers.
You’re not closing a deal—you’re opening a door.

(That’s also why we built Skyp.ai—to help founders send outbound that opens doors, not explains products. Every sequence is designed to get curiosity, not a yawn.)

🧪 Let’s Rewrite One (Before & After)

Too long, too much:

Hey Jordan,
I wanted to reach out because I saw you’re growing your RevOps team. At [Startup], we’ve built a flexible platform that helps companies improve sales workflows, track rep performance in real-time, and reduce CRM hygiene issues across the board. We’re currently working with [well-known company] and have seen results like 25% more pipeline coverage in the first 3 months. Would love to share how it might fit into your GTM motion.

Sharper, shorter:

Hey Jordan—
Noticed you’re hiring in RevOps. Curious—how’s the team tracking rep performance today?

Built something for founders who’ve outgrown dashboards and guesswork.

Worth a quick look?

Same audience. Same goal. Different emotional trigger.

🧹 Quick Checklist: The 30-Second Trim Test

Before you send your next email, ask:

  • ✅ Can I say this in fewer words?

  • ✅ Did I open with something that earns attention?

  • ✅ Is there one clear takeaway—not five?

  • ✅ Does the CTA sound like something I’d respond to?

  • ✅ Would I read this if it hit my inbox?

If the answer’s no to any of those, trim it down.

And if you want a faster way to write cold emails that actually get replies—not just polite ignores—Skyp.ai was built to help founders do exactly that.
Shorter emails. Smarter sequences. More real conversations.