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The “Politeness Tax” in Cold Emailing
Most cold emails are nice. And that’s why they get ignored.
Alexander Shartsis
June 27, 2025
Founders worry about tone.
They don’t want to come off pushy.
They want to “add value.” Be respectful. Keep it light.
So the email ends up reading like this:
“Totally understand if now’s not the right time.
Just wanted to quickly introduce myself and share a bit about what we’re building.
Happy to circle back later if that’s easier.”
✅ Polite.
✅ Soft.
❌ Gets archived.
The Real Problem: You Sound Like You’re Asking for Permission
You’re not being ignored because people dislike you.
You’re being ignored because your message doesn’t demand a decision.
Too many cold emails sit in the mushy middle:
Not bold enough to earn a reply
Not bad enough to get flagged
Just… ignorable
It’s the Politeness Tax—and most founders are overpaying.
Here’s What That Looks Like in the Wild:
Overly Nice Version:
“I know your time is valuable, and I don’t want to bother you—just thought I’d reach out in case this might be relevant down the line.”
It reads like you’re already expecting to be ghosted.
Overly Passive CTA:
“Would love to connect if this seems interesting on your end!”
What does that even mean? It’s not a next step. It’s a shrug in sentence form.
What to Say Instead (Still Human, But Clear)
Cleaner Version:
“Helping B2B teams catch churn signals 30 days earlier—before it hits the renewal report.
Want the 2-min version?”
No fluff. No apology. Still friendly.
Or:
“Built something that flags silent churn without needing a data team.
Worth a look?”
Short. Light. Confident.
No begging. No bravado. Just clarity.
Final Thought
You’re not writing to make them like you.
You’re writing to help them make a decision.
🚫 Stop padding your emails with disclaimers.
🚫 Stop apologizing for showing up.
✅ Start making it easy to say yes—or no.
Because if your message is all tone and no edge,
you didn’t get rejected—you just got forgotten.